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What the heck does THAT mean?| Fun videos and stuff
A very dangerous dog! FunnyJunk.com Discipline! (Urma)
Sniper Kitten!
(webpub.allegheny.edu)
GSD Judo!! ( Gus von der Gruße Waldecke IPO3, SCHH3, FH )
Anyone can do Schutzhund! Hilarious video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTN5kTkdvME&mode=related&search
WUSV 2007 Police dog helicopter jump!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhnJCsm29Vs&mode=related&search
WUSV 2007 courage tests.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql_9s8KArXM
A Seven Year Old Girl Doing a SchH3 routine!
http://www.stallbacken.a.se/kwai/res/filmmovie/schh3chtm.wmv
Videos--BSP 2007--Germany National Schutzhund Championship Trials
www.youtube.com/results?search=related&search_query=jucan%20von%20peroh%20in%20C&v=GQCR
m5YPc0U
Videos WUSV 2007, Slovakia (World Schutzhund Championship Trials)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql_9s8KArXM&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/results?search=related&search_query=WUSV%202007&v=mtNkBZ
D3OsI
KNPV from the year 1943.
http://www.hondensport.nl/KNPV/foto's/video_keuring1943.wmv
Schutzhund in the year 1936...that's the life!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NsBi0PehfAM
Okay, this isn't a GSD, but it's pretty funny.
In(kompentent) hunde
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3ScfgHMKzI&feature=related
I am a fan of this dog, Chello vom Banholz. This video is appropriately nicknamed:
"Touch down!", Chello was bred by Vom Banholz Kennels, Belgium. I am not sure who
owns him now, I wish I owned him!
http://77.75.126.141/~vombanholz/mijnweb2/vombanholzdogs/chello%20compilatie.wmv
A website where you can look up videos of famous Schutzhund competitors and producers:
http://77.75.126.141/~vombanholz/mijnweb2/famousdogs/ABCDE/hall_of_fameA.htm
Children are dogs, Teenagers are Cats.
I just realized that while children are dogs ... loyal and affectionate ... teenagers are CATS.
You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you
were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.
Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat... When you tell it to
come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of
dogging your footsteps, it disappears.
You won't see it again until it gets hungry... then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen
long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving.
When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from
you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.
You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong
with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings.
Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you
assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your
efforts to make your pet behave.
Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the
opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the
counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.
Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put
a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you.
But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still, and it will come,
seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door
for it.
One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've
been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."
Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.
A silly German Shepherd Dog breeder decided to go on a safari in Africa. She took her old
German Shepherd dog along for company. One day the dog starts chasing butterflies and
before long the dog discovers that she is lost. So, wandering about she notices a leopard
heading rapidly in her direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
The German Shepherd thinks, "Boy, I'm in deep trouble now."
Then she noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to
chew on the bones with her back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to
leap, the dog exclaims loudly, "Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are
any more around here?"
Hearing this the leopard halts his attack in mid stride, as a look of terror comes over him,
and slinks away into the trees. "Whew", says the leopard. "That was close. That dog nearly
had me."
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures
he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off
he goes. But the old German Shepherd dog saw him heading after the leopard with great
speed, and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the
leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
The cat is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey, hop on my back and see
what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
Now the old German Shepherd dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back,
and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" But instead of running, the dog sits down with her
back to her attackers, pretending she hasn't seen them yet.
And just when they get close enough to hear, the dog says,
"Where's that monkey? I just can never trust him. I sent him off half an hour ago to bring
me another leopard, and he's still not back!!"
Dog Tired!
An old, tired-looking dog wandered into our yard. I could tell from
his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.
He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a
corner.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position in
the hall, and slept for an hour. This continued for
several weeks.
Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every
afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned
to his collar:
"He lives in a home with ten children -- he's trying to
catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him
tomorrow?"
A Veterinarian was sick and went to see the doctor.
The doctor asked him all the usual questions about symptoms etc., when he interrupted
him: "Hey look, I am a Vet - *I* don't need to ask my patients all these questions. I can tell
what is wrong just by looking." He added, "Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, stood back, looked him up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription,
handed it to him, and said, "There you are. ...Of course, if *that* does not work, we'll have to
have you put down."
Inscription on the Monument of a Newfoundland Dog
by
Lord Byron
Near this spot are deposited the remains of one who
possessed Beauty without Vanity,
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferocity,
and all the Virtues of Man,
without his Vices.
This Praise, which would be unmeaning
Flattery if inscribed over human
ashes is but a just tribute to the Memory
of Boatswain, a Dog.
Epitaph to a Dog
by
Sir William Watson
His friends he loved. His fellest earthly foes--
Cats--I believe he did but feign to hate.
My hand will miss the insinuated nose,
Mine eyes that tail that wagged contempt at Fate.
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE
SBF Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a svelte good looking girl who
LOVES to play. I love: long walks in the woods, hunting, camping, riding in your pickup
truck, fishing trips, playing ball, cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight
dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond.
I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 555-2121 and ask for Daisy.
Daisy
Heaven:
A man and his dog were walking companionably along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He
remembered dying, and that the dog had been dead for years. He wondered where the road
was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the
road. It looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he
was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother of
pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and his dog walked
toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was
close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" The man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man
gestured, and the gate began to open.
"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" The traveler asked.
"I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets."
The man thought a moment and, unwilling to leave his dog behind, he sadly turned back
toward the road and continued the way he had been going.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led
through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he
approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me!" He called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there" The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen
from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"How about my friend here?" The traveler gestured to his dog.
"There should be a bowl by the pump."
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with
a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl for the dog and drank from the pump himself.
When they were both full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing
by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" The traveler asked.
"This is heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was heaven,
too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the Gold Street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks
who'll leave their best friends behind."
How to Photograph a New Puppy
Remove film from box and load camera.
Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash.
Remove puppy from trash, brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
Choose a suitable background for photo.
Mount camera on tripod and focus.
Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
Put cat outside, put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose.
Put magazines back on coffee table.
Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
Clean up mess.
Sit back in chair with lemonade and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and "stay" soon.
What is an obedience title really?
Not just a brag; not just a stepping stone to a higher title.
Not just an adjunct to competitive scores...a title is a tribute to the dog that bears it; a way
to honor the dog; an ultimate memorial.
A title will remain in the record and the memory....for about as long as anything in this
world can remain. Few humans will do as well or better in that regard.
And though the dog himself doesn't know or care that his achievements have been noted, a
title says many things in the world of humans, where such things count.
A title says your dog was intelligent and adaptable, and good natured. It says that your dog
loved you enough to do the things that please you....however crazy they may have
sometimes seemed.
And a title says that you loved your dog, that you loved to spend time with him because he
was a good dog, and that you believed in him enough to give him yet another chance when
he failed....and that in the end....your faith was justified.
A title proves that your dog inspired you to that special relationship enjoyed by so
few....that in a world of disposable items and disposable creatures, this dog....with a title....
was greatly loved, and loved greatly in return.
When that dear short life is over, the title remains as a memorial of the finest kind, the best
you can give a deserving friend, volumes of praise in one small set of initials after the
name.
An obedience title is nothing less than the love and respect, given and received and
recorded permanently.
Author Unknown
